Thursday, February 23, 2012

January 27th - This Blog is Going Down the Toilet

I am going to stop before I even start and apologize. Why? If you make it through this post you will know why. If this is your first visit to my blog I am so, so, SO sorry. Please stop here and come back another day. Please. As I type, I feel like I am literally watching a train wreck. I can hear the whistles, I see the steam engines headed toward each other on a path of destruction and yet...I can't stop looking! I can't stop typing! Someone, please help me...It's an illness. I can't stop...

The day started off innocently enough. Friday, January 27, was "Punch the Clock Day". That's an easy one. Two out of three Buehlman's recommend not getting out of bed in the morning. Care to guess which ones?

And the third Buehlman? I don't know if it is his military training, or just really annoying discipline, that gets his cute little behind out of bed in the morning. I prefer to luxuriate a bit, wake up at my leisure, sip some coffee, watch some Good Morning America, ease my way in to the day. Of course I have that little cranky pants up there to take care of so that is usually a bit of a pipe dream but a girl can dream that she's still dreaming.

Then things went down the drain...literally. It was also Thomas Crapper Day.

Apparently Mr. Crapper is fodder for much debate. Turns out he didn't really invent the toilet but he made it better and, according to my Wiki friends "more popular". I'm not sure how you make the toilet more popular. Bad mexican food makes toilets popular, not plumbers. Just saying. Find out more than you ever cared to know about Mr. Crapper here and here.

One of my favorite facts was that he served as the Royal Sanitary Engineer for various members of the British royal family. Not only am I adding that title to my numerous other titles around here, but I am putting "Royal" in front of them and "Engineer" behind them: Royal Transportation Engineer, Royal Culinary Engineer, Royal Linen and Sundries Engineer, Royal Castle Readiness Engineer... Doesn't that sound much better? Anyway, I bet no one made fun of his name after that assignment.

We celebrated Thomas Crapper Day with dignity. A party hat, some pom-poms and general love for the toilet that serves us in our times of need so well. We love your strong, solid presence and at times weep for your cool, smoothness, and most of all we are grateful that you accept our offerings without judgement and then whisk them away to a better place. Thank you, Thomas Crapper, for whatever the heck you did to make our potty what it is today!

This is the point where you should definitely stop. If you have not been reading this blog, please turn around and come back to the next post. If you have been reading this blog then the following may not surprise you, it may disappoint and offend you, but it won't surprise you. And if you have known us long before this blog, you won't be surprised at all.

I live with two boys so it all went down hill quickly. Spencer requested constipation face pictures...

And then Mark requested that he and Spence do a two-gun salute to Mr. Crapper...

I will leave it up to you to ponder whether those are water guns or not....

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